My Channels are all closing!... WTF is up? PLEASE HELP

If those peers were CLN operators, and they did the last update CLN v 0.11.1 then yes, you could have a lot of force closing.
Also this would affect many other nodes, even if are not CLN, because if they got pending HTLCs with those nodes, the spread is going fast to all peers down the line.
I got also 3 force closures in the last 24h (inclusive one with ZFR node) and I think is because of this massive update people are doing.
Wrong, they should wait a bit more.

You can’t do much more, just have patience and wait for the force closures to be reach the maturity and funds back in your onchain wallet.

If you really want to see exactly how many pending HTLCs and at which block maturity funds will be released, read in the troubleshooting guide the section to check closed channels. You will find with that command all details about your channels.

PATIENCE is the key when you have these kind of situations. Wait and don’t do anything stupid.

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